How to Leave a Marriage When You Don't Have Much Money

You’re reasonably sure that leaving your marriage is the right move, but you don’t have any money. It’s a tough spot to be in.

That doesn’t mean you’re stuck. In this article, we’ll talk about ways to reduce some money stress if you're going through a divorce. 

We can’t promise it’s going to be smooth sailing — divorces almost certainly aren’t — but we have some ideas that could help you be in the best financial shape to handle the expenses of a divorce.

Divorce attorneys are often the most expensive part of the divorce process. However, there are ways to get legal help that mitigate the fees associated with a lawyer. 

For example, you could look for a legal aid center in your area. The center's mission is to provide civil legal aid to low-income families across the country.

You can find pro bono lawyers by looking online or on the American Bar Association website or attorneys who offer free consultations, which gives you an opportunity to receive much-needed legal advice.

Mediation is a great way to avoid the costs of a lawyer. A mediator helps you work out the details of your divorce. They facilitate conversations about splitting assets, deciding child care agreements, and who takes on what debt from a marriage.

When everything is accounted for, a mediator will draw up a divorce agreement for both parties to sign. Divorce documents put together by a mediator have a higher compliance rate because both spouses have agency when deciding on the agreement. 

In other words, both parties are more likely to follow the divorce agreement because they both fully participated in putting it together.

Pro tip: Private mediation can be almost as expensive as hiring a lawyer. To save money, look for community-based or court-based low-cost mediation.

When you’re trying to leave a marriage with no money, it could be helpful to make extra money with a side hustle or get a part-time job. Side hustles are a great way to make some extra cash and pay for the divorce.

If you’re the partner who’s moving out, it could help fund moving expenses, apartment living, and other financial burdens you might encounter throughout the divorce process.

Just remember that the extra income will have to be considered when the court decides on alimony and child support. Even a short-term gig, like seasonal work, could be helpful.

You’ll want to put the money you’re earning into a separate checking or savings account that only you have access to. This keeps your money safe from your spouse in case things go sideways in the divorce. 

It also gets you a jumpstart on separating yourself from your spouse. You could redirect your work direct deposits into this account as well. It’s hard to financially disentangle yourself from your spouse, but this is a great first step.

Opening a bank account is especially important if you’re leaving an abusive relationship. You don’t want your former partner withholding funds from you as a way of financial abuse as you’re trying to leave a difficult situation.

Pro tip: Be sure account statements are being sent to a safe address or P.O. box.

When you’re leaving a marriage with no money, it’s important to reach out for help.

Friends and family members could keep a lookout for deals on furniture for your new apartment, offer child care while you go to the courthouse for divorce proceedings, help you move out, and more. 

Before shopping for things to set up your new household, check with charitable groups or religious organizations in your area.

Pro tip: Be cautious about what you post on social media, even if it’s just asking for help. Anything you post could come up during divorce proceedings.

Another way to keep divorce costs low is by keeping things civil. This allows you to separate amicably and save money by paying lawyers less and staying out of the divorce courts more. 

It also helps keep the animosity down. Animosity breeds spite, and you don’t want your spouse taking it out by trying to ask for more in the courtrooms.

It’s important to have a complete financial picture when you get divorced. Even if you don’t have many assets, collecting the information in one place gives you the ability to make solid financial decisions regarding your divorce.

This information allows your mediator or attorney to help split assets and debt equitably so one partner isn’t burdened unnecessarily. For example, if you’ve supported your spouse by caring for children while they worked, you may be entitled to financial support (also known as alimony).

Here's some information you’ll want to collect to prepare for a divorce:

• Three most recent employment paystubs for each party
• Monthly bank statements from all accounts from the past three years
• Utility bills from the past three months
• Income tax returns for the past three to five years, both business and personal
• Any W-2 statements for both parties from the last three to five years
• Any investment accounts, including retirement accounts for both parties
• If applicable, Social Security statements for both parties
• Any statements for debts such as credit cards, car loans, mortgage statements, student loans, and outstanding medical bills

Pro tip: If you can’t secure copies, take pictures of the documents with your phone.

Therapy is an excellent way to let go, decompress, and sort out how you feel about complicated emotions and financial stress that arise during a divorce. However, therapy can be expensive.

Many telehealth apps are relatively inexpensive ways to get the help you need. Talkspace, BetterHelp, and Larkr are some of the more popular platforms.

Opening a P.O. box is fairly straightforward and inexpensive. 

Having a P.O. box is important because it allows your mail to be delivered directly to you and protects your privacy, as you don’t want your ex to have access to your information.

Once it's set up, notify your accounts that your address has changed. If you don’t open a P.O. box, you could miss important information, such as bills and letters from your attorney. It’s definitely worth the money to open one if you can manage it.

If you’re not prepared financially to move into another home or apartment, consider looking into housing assistance programs to help cover the costs of new housing.

USA.gov has information on finding affordable housing, and you can go to benefits.gov to look for housing information as well. Your local social services office could also provide assistance and advice.

Needing assistance for housing, food, and more may feel overwhelming, but when you’re leaving a marriage with no money, it’s important to cut costs where you can so you land on your feet.

Learning how to manage your money, especially if you weren’t the partner who handled finances, can be daunting. But don’t let that stop you from setting yourself up for success. 

There are plenty of budgeting apps out there you could use to track your spending and avoid wasting money. Use them to see what you’re spending on and then make decisions from there.

If you notice your spending is bloated in one way or another, you could cut back. The goal when budgeting is to create a balanced spending plan that covers all your expenses and leaves you money to save.

Leaving an unhappy marriage with no money is difficult emotionally and financially, but you have tools that will help you get back on your feet. 

If you think you’re ready for divorce, start putting a plan into place to crush your debt and organize your finances to be better prepared when you tell your spouse.