Saving & Spending Budgeting & Expenses

8 Money Fights Worth Having With Your Spouse

With money, like marriage, it's important to pick your battles. These are the fights worth having.

By Stacy Garrels

Edited by Laura Ratliff

Updated April 25, 2025

Money is one of the top reasons couples argue, and it's no wonder: Money touches almost every part of our daily lives. From paying the bills to buying groceries, financial disagreements can cause stress and resentment if they're not addressed head-on.

But some money fights are worth having because they can strengthen your relationship and set you up for long-term success. Tackling tough topics like overspending, saving, or how to get out of debt together helps build trust and clarity for the road ahead.

Let's get into the eight essential money fights worth having and how to handle them constructively.

If you’re over 50, take advantage of massive discounts and financial resources

Over 50? Join AARP today — because if you’re not a member you could be missing out on huge perks. When you start your membership today, you can get discounts on things like travel, meal deliveries, eyeglasses, prescriptions that aren’t covered by insurance and more.

How to become a member today:

Go here, select your free gift, and click “Join Today”
Create your account (important!) by answering a few simple questions
Start enjoying your discounts and perks!

Important: Start your membership by creating an account here and filling in all of the information (Do not skip this step!) Doing so will allow you to take up 25% off your AARP membership, making it just $15 the first year with auto-renewal.

Become an AARP member now

1. Overspending

Even in the happiest of couples, overspending can create tension. Maybe one of you is a spontaneous spender while the other is a cautious saver.

You don't have to change your personalities, but you need to set clear boundaries. Maybe it's keeping separate bank accounts, or talking openly about what counts as a "splurge" and what feels reasonable.

Using budgeting apps or shared expense trackers brings transparency and accuracy that can keep both partners accountable, avoiding surprise purchases and gnawing resentment.

Who really has the cheapest auto insurance in your area? Check your zip code here.

2. Growing debt

Debt can quietly pile up and strain a relationship before you even realize it. Credit cards, student loans, and personal loans have a way of piling up in the background.

The key is to treat debt as a shared challenge, not a personal failure to which you assign blame. Make a plan together to pay it down, whether that's tackling high-interest balances first or using a snowball method to build momentum. If you need extra motivation, explore tools to help you get out of debt faster and free up breathing room in your budget.

3. Major purchases

Buying a house, a car, or even splurging on a dream vacation requires alignment. Major purchases don't just affect your bank account; they reflect your values and personalities and impact your entire quality of life.

Before swiping the card or signing the papers, sit down and discuss the details. Can you comfortably afford it? Is this the right time? Should you hold off and save more first? Making a decision together builds confidence in your choices and avoids post-purchase regret.

Resolve $10,000 or more of your debt

Credit card debt is suffocating. It constantly weighs on your mind and controls every choice you make. You can end up emotionally and even physically drained from it. And even though you make regular payments, it feels like you can never make any progress because of the interest.

National Debt Relief could help you resolve your credit card debt with an affordable plan that works for you. Just tell them your situation, then find out your debt relief options.¹ <p>Clients who are able to stay with the program and get all their debt settled realize approximate savings of 46% before fees, or 25% including our fees, over 12 to 48 months. All claims are based on enrolled debts. Not all debts are eligible for enrollment. Not all clients complete our program for various reasons, including their ability to save sufficient funds. Estimates based on prior results, which will vary based on specific circumstances. We do not guarantee that your debts will be lowered by a specific amount or percentage or that you will be debt-free within a specific period of time. We do not assume consumer debt, make monthly payments to creditors or provide tax, bankruptcy, accounting or legal advice or credit repair services. Not available in all states. Please contact a tax professional to discuss tax consequences of settlement. Please consult with a bankruptcy attorney for more information on bankruptcy. Depending on your state, we may be available to recommend a local tax professional and/or bankruptcy attorney. Read and understand all program materials prior to enrollment, including potential adverse impact on credit rating.</p>

How to get National Debt Relief to help you resolve your debt: Sign up for a free debt assessment here. (Do not skip this step!) By signing up for a free assessment, National Debt Relief can assist you in settling your debt, but only if you schedule the assessment.

Try it

4. Savings and retirement planning

Saving for the future can easily slip to the bottom of the to-do list, especially when juggling daily expenses. But setting shared goals is one of the smartest moves you can make as a couple.

Whether it's building an emergency fund, maxing out retirement accounts, or agreeing on priorities and timelines, planning together keeps both partners engaged in the bigger financial picture, even if you're starting small.

5. Financial values

In couples, each party brings their own financial philosophy to the table. Maybe your partner believes in living minimally to maximize travel experiences, while you're laser-focused on building a hefty retirement fund.

True story: My husband maxes out his 401(k) every year and packs half of what he needs for trips, buying the rest as needed. Neither approach is wrong, but understanding each other's money quirks helps you find balance and understand why your partner will buy $8 bottled waters on vacation, yet is too cheap to buy Kleenex tissues at home.

6. Lifestyle expectations

Are you the type of couple who dreams of luxury vacations and fine dining, or are you happiest with quiet weekends at home?

Aligning your lifestyle expectations early on helps prevent future frustration. Talk openly about how you want to spend your time and money on hobbies, travel, or treating yourselves now and then.

When you're on the same page, it's easier to enjoy the life you're building together instead of trying to convert the other to your "correct" way of thinking. (Plus, it doesn't work. I've tried.)

Make Money: 8 things to do if you're barely scraping by financially

7. Spending on kids

Raising children comes with a long list of financial decisions: daycare or nanny, public or private school, how much allowance to give, or whether to set up a 529 plan for college savings.

These choices can spark intense debates, especially when they tap into deeper beliefs about parenting and life priorities. Rather than avoiding the conversation, tackle it head-on.

Ideally, you would have had these conversations before having kids, but late is better than never. Sit down and talk and talk again; decide what feels reasonable and sustainable for your family's future together.

8. Legacy

Discussing end-of-life planning may feel uncomfortable, but it's essential. Whether you're considering charitable giving, setting up inheritances, or establishing endowments, these decisions have lasting impacts.

Align your values around wealth transfer, such as how much to leave to children, how much to donate, and the best way to structure these gifts. Clear communication now can prevent family disputes later. (Unless, like me, you plan on bringing popcorn and a lawn chair as you look down from the pearly gates.)

Bottom line

Every couple argues about money at some point (probably at many points), but the goal isn't to avoid disagreement. The goal is to make the arguments productive.

Research shows that talking openly about money improves marriage satisfaction. So, while it's a scary and loaded topic, experts say that in the long term, it can help lower your financial stress.

If you're hesitant to start the conversation, consider meeting with a financial planner or a marriage counselor. A neutral, calm third party can help guide healthy, open dialogue.

More from FinanceBuzz: