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11 Ways You Could Accidentally Disinherit Your Kids

Even well-intentioned parents can make these common mistakes.

By Stacy Garrels

Edited by Chris Kissell

Updated Jan. 22, 2025

When it comes to estate planning, parents often focus on protecting their kids from outside threats ranging from Uncle Sam’s taxes to meddling relatives.

But what if the real threat isn’t a villainous outsider? What if it’s you?

Here are the biggest estate planning pitfalls to avoid to protect your wealth for your kids.

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Failing to write a will that clearly states your wishes

Writing a will is an essential part of ensuring your final wishes are honored. Failure to write a will can mean leaving behind a mess.

Without clear instructions, your children could end up with less than you’d hoped, or even nothing at all, making it hard for them to get ahead financially.

Drafting a legally binding will can ensure that your intentions are honored instead of leaving your assets subject to state laws and distributions in ways you never intended.

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Not updating your will after a life change

Life changes such as divorce, remarriage, or the birth of new children can create chaos if your will isn’t updated.

For example, if you remarry and don’t revise your estate plan, your former spouse might inherit everything when you die. This is not a far-fetched scenario, given that nearly 1 in 4 U.S. marriages is a remarriage, according to a report from Bowling Green State University.

Regularly review and update your will to ensure it reflects your current circumstances.

Overlooking trust provisions for your minor children

Assuming a surviving spouse will always prioritize your children’s best interests is risky. What if that spouse becomes incapacitated, mismanages funds, or even chooses to withhold resources from your children?

For example, in Minnesota, if you have not made specific provisions and die intestate — without having written a will — the surviving spouse is entitled to the first $225,000 in estate assets.

The money is theirs alone, with no legal obligation to direct any of those funds to the children’s education or welfare.

Making provisions now can safeguard your kids’ inheritances by clearly outlining how the funds should be directed for their benefit.

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Not creating a prenuptial agreement that protects your kids

Without a prenuptial agreement, your assets could become part of the estate and go exclusively to the surviving spouse. This can jeopardize your children’s inheritance, especially in blended families where multiple parties have competing claims.

A prenuptial agreement can leave an inheritance for your spouse and also protect what you intend to pass on to your kids.

In some instances, it may make sense to leave all of your assets to your children and purchase an annuity for your wife, ensuring your surviving spouse is also cared for.

Forgetting to ask your spouse to waive rights to a 401(k)

Federal law gives spouses primary rights to inherit 401(k) funds unless they explicitly waive those rights. Even a prenuptial agreement that was signed before marriage will not serve as a valid waiver.

If you don’t want 100% of your retirement funds to go to your spouse, take steps now to prevent it. It’s not an all-or-nothing scenario. You can name multiple beneficiaries and specify individual distribution amounts.

Being unaware of how a trust plan can help

Establishing a trust plan offers a greater degree of flexibility and control. You can set up a trust to hold your property for the use and benefit of the surviving spouse, stipulating that upon their death ownership must be transferred to the kids.

This scenario protects everyone’s well-being. However, there can be cost and complexity in setting up a trust and it must be revisited every few years.

A specialized attorney can help you set everything up and manage the ongoing logistics.

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Writing a will that doesn't meet the guidelines of your state

DIY wills such as final wishes scribbled on a cocktail napkin may or may not be binding. Each state has its own guidelines.

Some states accept handwritten or holographic wills, but most don’t. And notarized witness signatures are generally required.

Work with a professional to ensure your will meets state-specific criteria.

Leaving all crucial decisions to your surviving spouse

It’s common to leave everything to a surviving spouse, trusting them to distribute assets to your children and grandchildren.

However, this approach can backfire if the surviving spouse remarries, changes their will, or prioritizes their new family over your children. Clear, direct provisions in your will can prevent such exclusions from happening.

Ignoring the needs of a blended family

Repeat after me: “The Brady Bunch” isn’t real. That level of family harmony is pure TV fantasy, and blended families bring unique challenges to estate planning.

If you don’t carefully allocate assets, children from a previous marriage can be unintentionally disinherited. Trusts and clear will provisions can ensure all children are treated fairly and according to your wishes.

Even if your children are close to their stepparent now, this can change. As the years pass, they may update their will to reflect altered family bonds.

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Moving to another state but failing to update your estate plan

Laws governing wills, successions, and trusts vary significantly from state to state. A will that’s valid in one state may not hold up in another.

Make sure to update your estate plan after you move to ensure compliance with all state inheritance laws. That way, you can prevent many legal headaches.

Setting up an estate plan without seeking professional assistance

Estate planning can seem simple enough, yet there are a lot of small but crucial details in the process. Tiny mistakes can be costly.

Professionals can help you navigate the process, addressing issues such as tax implications, state-specific rules, and how to name an executor of the estate.

DIY solutions may work for some — the price point is appealing — but they can lead to unintended consequences that you could have prevented by consulting a professional.

Bottom line

Estate planning mistakes can leave your children without the inheritance you intended. To avoid wasting money and ensure your family is cared for, create a comprehensive estate plan that reflects your wishes and complies with state laws.

It’s always smart to consult with a professional to address potential blind spots and to keep your plan updated as life changes.

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