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7 Costly Mistakes to Avoid When Choosing an Executor for Your Will

Choosing the person to carry out your final wishes is a massive responsibility. Here are the mistakes to avoid.

signing last will and testament
Updated Aug. 3, 2025
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Creating a will is the first step toward responsible estate planning. However, that's only half of the equation. You must also choose an executor, the person who will carry out your will's instructions.

Selecting an executor is arguably the most consequential decision in the entire process, and choosing the wrong one could be one of the worst financial mistakes you can make. A bad choice could unleash a storm of financial chaos and emotional distress for the very people you want to protect.

To help you avoid problems, we've identified seven dangerous mistakes you should avoid when naming the person who will settle your final affairs.

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Defaulting to the oldest child

chokniti/Adobe father and son spent time togerther

The eldest child is often automatically named as an executor for one or both of their parents. This decision might be seen as following tradition or because some believe that age equals wisdom.

The problem is that certain skills are required to be an effective executor. Organization, financial acumen, impartiality, and diligence are not bestowed by birth order. Your oldest child may be the type to be overwhelmed by paperwork, or they might live across the country, making it impractical to manage local estate matters. 

It's better to pick the person most qualified for the job, regardless of their age, birth order, or position in your extended family.

Ignoring the warning signs

New Africa/Adobe woman using laptop at messy table

A good executor displays financial responsibility in their own life. They should be organized and have the patience to handle the processes and procedures that come with the job. Too often, people choose an executor who displays plenty of warning signs.

Someone who consistently pays bills late, carries too much debt, and keeps poor records (if any) could make costly errors that diminish the value of your estate. Don't ignore the warning signs of financial mismanagement, even if this person is special to you.

Picking someone in another state

anatoliycherkas/Adobe male worker communicating during video call

Naming an executor who lives in another state or country might not seem like a problem in our connected digital world, but there are good reasons to choose someone closer to you.

An out-of-state executor may have to post a bond or appoint a local agent to accept legal documents. Simple tasks, such as sorting through personal belongings, preparing a house for sale, or attending court appearances, can become expensive and time-consuming. Worse, an out-of-state executor may not tend to these responsibilities.

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Naming co-executors to "keep the peace"

insta_photos/Adobe business man and woman discussing project documents

In an attempt to be fair, some people name two or more of their children as co-executors. While such a move might avoid arguments now, it opens the door to conflict after you're gone.

Unless your chosen co-executors are required to act independently (which carries risks), most decisions will require the agreement and signature of all of them. What happens if they disagree on what price to sell your house for? Or which assets to liquidate first? Even minor disagreements can bring the entire probate process to a grinding halt.

Failing to ask someone if they want the job

Grispb/Adobe businessman reading paper document

Even though you might have the perfect executor in mind, it's best to ask if they're willing to take on the role. Appointing an executor without their prior knowledge and consent is something you technically can do, but it's a risky move.

When they're notified after your passing, they have the legal right to decline, leaving your estate in limbo until the court appoints a replacement.

Overlooking a conflict of interest

Photographee.eu/Adobe signing last will and testament

An executor has a fiduciary duty to act in the best interest of the estate and all its beneficiaries. Before selecting someone, play out this scenario and look for potential conflicts of interest.

Here's an example: If you name your business partner as your executor and your will directs that your share of the business be sold, your partner is in the conflicting position of being both the seller (on behalf of your estate) and a potential buyer. It's situations like this that lead people to choose family members as executors, as the potential for conflicts may be lower.

Not considering the emotional toll

DimaBerlin/Adobe stressed woman surrounded by bills

While it may seem like an honor to be someone's executor, people actually in the role say it's a job no one would want. Think about it. The person you choose will be navigating this complex process while also grieving your loss. The role can last for a year or more and is often filled with stress, tedious paperwork, and mediating disagreements.

On top of all the other qualities of a good executor, look for someone with the emotional fortitude to see the job through to completion.

Bottom line

Vitalii Vodolazskyi/Adobe information about estate planning

The ideal executor will be financially savvy, highly organized, of high integrity, and a family member or close friend with no conflicts of interest. In other words, it's going to be difficult to find someone who's perfect for the job. To make the right moves towards securing a good choice, you can start by avoiding these common mistakes.

When you find the right person, show your appreciation by compensating them. Most state laws allow for the executor to be paid a fee for their services, which is paid out of the estate's assets. The amount they can earn varies by state, so be sure to ask your estate planner about this.

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