Retirement Retired Life

5 Expenses Retirees Really Need to Stop Covering for Their Kids

Are you among the 79% of retired parents who spend thousands of dollars supporting their adult kids?

smiling senior mother with adult son
Updated Jan. 22, 2025
Fact checked

Since your adult children are still your children, it's hard to say no when they ask for a helping hand. In fact, according to a study from Merrill Lynch and Age Wave, 79% of all retired parents are financing their adult children.

Put bluntly, many seniors are throwing away their retirement money on their grown kids, and they aren't wasting a small amount either. Cumulatively, retired parents spend $500 billion on their adult kids every year.

Here, we'll talk through a few expenses you should stop paying for to make sure you have enough money to stay afloat in retirement. For each expense, we'll offer some tips on how to go about stopping.

Earn cash back on everyday purchases with a debit card

Want to earn cash back on your everyday purchases without using a credit card? With the Discover® Cashback Debit account (member FDIC), you can earn 1% cash back on up to $3,000 in debit card purchases each month!1

Don’t leave money on the table — it only takes minutes to apply and it won’t impact your credit score.

Learn more about the Discover Cashback Checking account

1. Food and groceries

Ljupco Smokovski/Adobe shocked woman shopping

According to the Merrill Lynch/Age Wave study, 37% of retired parents pay for at least some of their adult kids' food and groceries, while an additional 23% pay for the entirety of it.

Since food prices increased by nearly 10% during the pandemic's massive wave of inflation, it makes sense that millennials and Generation Z are having a harder time paying for groceries and are turning to their parents for help.

However, you can't take care of them forever. It's important to take care of yourself financially first and not agreeing to take care of your kid's bills can lower your financial stress from your life.

How to stop paying for your kids' groceries

auremar/Adobe cheerful beautiful family in a market

Of course, inflation impacts every generation, not just the newest adults, which means your budget is feeling the extra burden as well.

Consider talking to your kids about how they can save money on groceries by eating in more than they eat out and buying generic products over brand-name foods.

2. Phone plans

F8 \ Suport Ukraine/Adobe woman casually dressed holding mobile phone

Apart from food and groceries, retired parents pay for most or all of their kids' phone plan costs more than any other expense.

Many phone plan providers offer family bundles that make their services more affordable, but parents can get stuck paying the full cost of a family plan each month even when their adult children can afford to pay their share.

Get instant access to hundreds of discounts

Over 50? Join AARP today— because if you’re not a member you could be missing out on huge perks like discounts on travel, dining, and even prescriptions.

Get 25% off membership — just $15 for your first year with auto-renewal — and a free gift if you join today.

Become an AARP member now

How to stop paying for your kids' phones

ViDi Studio/Adobe selfie shot of a mom and daughter

If your grown kids are still on your phone plan, talk to them about making sure each adult pays for their portion of the plan.

Alternatively, consider looking into senior-specific phone plans for yourself and canceling your family phone plan altogether. You might find that a new plan is actually less expensive for you and your kids.

3. Family vacations

peopleimages.com/Adobe family bonding while spending a day at the beach

Many working adults put off travel plans until retirement when they can travel the country with their kids and grandkids in tow.

However, retired grandparents might be tempted to pay for every vacation expense out of pocket, either out of habit or because younger family members expect them to pay. This can quickly drain your savings, though. 

How to stop paying for your kids' vacations

DragonImages/Adobe counting money for vacation

If you're planning on taking any family vacations in the next few years, sit down with everyone first so you can get on the same financial page.

Clearly state how much each aspect of the vacation will cost (from hotel rooms to gas or plane fare) and make sure everyone agrees on what they'll be paying for themselves.

4. Student loan debt

Paolese/Adobe young woman calculating home expenses

More millennials have college loan debt than any previous generation.

Parents who encouraged their kids to attend college might feel partly responsible for those debts, which could explain why 27% of retired parents are paying for some or all of their kids' student loans.

How to stop paying for your kids' student loans

Allistair/peopleimages.com/Adobe middle aged man shaking hands with a financial advisor

Whether you co-signed your kids' loans or just want to help them with their debt, consider crunching the numbers with your financial advisor to determine exactly how much you can afford to pay.

Once you know the exact dollar amount, resist the urge to pay more than you can afford. Burning through your retirement savings too quickly won't help you or your kids maintain financial independence.

5. School costs

Zoran Zeremski/Adobe male student studies in the library

Typically, students don't have to start paying back student loans until they graduate, but loans aren't always enough to cover every single school expense.

As a result, if your millennial or Gen Z kids are still in college, you might be among the 44% of retirees who help pay for school costs like textbooks and housing.

In 2023 Americans lost over $10 billion to identity theft and fraud

That's right. According to the FTC, Americans lost over $10 Billion to fraud and identity theft in 2023.

But you can safeguard your data with all-in-one identity theft protection services from Aura which comes with $1,000,000.00 in identity theft insurance2per adult, to cover you should you have eligible identity theft-related losses.

An individual plan starts at $9 per month, and you can choose a family plan that outmatches most others - includes Dark Web monitoring to scour data breaches and leaks for your sensitive personal data — such as Social Security numbers (SSN), Medicare information, and phone numbers.

Before you make your next online purchase, protect what you’ve built for a fraction of what it could cost you if your data were compromised.

Save up to 68% when you sign up for protection today!

How to stop paying for your kids' school costs

digitalskillet1/Adobe mature man mentoring and giving advice to a younger man

College is the perfect time for young adults to take on more financial responsibility and crush their own debt.

If your kids are in this age group, you might want to have a financial talk with them. Be sure they understand how to make a budget and how credit cards work.

Remember that for the most part, teens and young adults want more freedom, including financial freedom. If you and your kids have the same goals, coming up with a compromise will be much easier.

Bottom line

xixinxing/Adobe A college-aged woman bids her mom farewell near a packed car.

It's only natural to continue seeing your kids as, well, your kids, even when they're fully grown adults.

But it's just as important for your kids to learn financial independence as it is for you to ensure your retirement savings last as long as possible.

If you're trying to stretch your Social Security benefits or make extra money just to support your adult children, it's time to discuss how they can plan for their own financial futures without compromising yours.

4.5
info
Financebuzz awards badge

2025 award winner Best Online Checking Account

Discover® Cashback Checking
Earn 1% cash back on up to $3,000 in debit card purchases each month.1 No minimum deposit or balance. FDIC Insured.
Learn More
Take Advantage of Massive Discounts
Become a member and enjoy discounts on things like travel, meal deliveries, eyeglasses, and more.
Get up to 25% off your first year
Protect Your Identity Online Before You Get Compromised
Helps to identify and prevent fraud in real-time with 24/7 U.S.-based support.
Get protected now


Financebuzz logo

Thanks for subscribing!

Please check your email to confirm your subscription.