When most of us think about inheritances, we consider passing down the big things like the house, the car, or the Roth IRA. But ask around and you'll find that many adult children are quietly hoping for other things: messy, memory-soaked items that you might not think twice about discarding.
Things like a splattered recipe card and an old high school ring may hold immense nostalgia. When it comes to retirement readiness, your legacy isn't just about preserving and passing down monetary assets. It's about stories and the everyday objects that embody them.
Let's talk about what your kids might want to hold on to, and a few things they definitely don't.
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Old family recipes
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Especially the ones scribbled in barely legible cursive, covered in sauce splatters, and with secret annotations and recipe modifications. These could be sacred texts. Don't underestimate what it means to hold the actual piece of paper, a kitchen artifact, that your hands used to flip through.
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Personal letters and journals
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Old love notes, rambling teenage diaries, and letters Uncle Paul sent home during his service are windows into the past, a physical time capsule of your family.
Jewelry with a story
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It's not just the spendy stuff your kids are after. Your kids and grandkids may be interested in that cocktail ring you wore daily or that plastic beaded necklace you never took off. To you, it's just cheap jewelry. To your kids, that's Mom.
Home tools and cookware
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Your dad's hammer or your grandpa's cast-iron pan. The things that built your home, cooked pancake breakfasts, or just sat faithfully in the same drawer for decades may carry intense emotional significance for your kids.
Family photos and videos
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It's always sad to see old family photos and postcards wind up in antique shops. Future generations want to see pictures and film footage of the family.
Of course, don't dump 27 cardboard boxes of VHS tapes, slide reels, film strips, and faded Polaroids their way. Curate them. Write notes on the back of who these people were and when the pictures were taken — even your best recollection is appreciated. Bonus points if you get the pictures, reels, and tapes digitized for the kids.
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Holiday decorations
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Everyone has their own particular aesthetic, and holiday decor is cheap and plentiful now. But when people hunt down banners and crêpe paper, they want to create their own holiday story.
Relics from the family's past are usually a part of their traditions that they want to build and pass down to their kids. Keep the plastic angel with the missing wing or the weird Santa Claus made from a pinecone. These oddball items anchor time, gluing memories to present celebrations.
Books with notes and scribbles
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Your kids probably don't want boxes of musty, old books. But there are likely a cherished few they do: The dog-eared ones that you marked up, old bedtime stories, or books that you read to them as kids may be especially cherished.
Military and career keepsakes
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The kids probably want to keep your retirement plaque, medals, and framed certificates. These mark what you've accomplished and are an everyday tribute to your memory.
Toys from their childhood
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One-eyed stuffed animals, cars with missing wheels, or ducks that no longer go quack. If deeply loved, these items are now treasures.
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Hospital blankets
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Save your kids' pink and blue hospital swaddle blankets. They're likely the first bit of fabric that ever touched them, and then saw follow-up, everyday use at home.
Not only is it a potent keepsake, but it's sturdy and practical enough to be used to swaddle your children's babies in the future.
Liquid assets
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Stocks? Cash? Bonds? Yes, yes, yes! But a moldy cabin in the woods with over $7,000 in back taxes? That's not an inheritance; that's a logistical hostage situation. Talk to your kids about the liquid and non-liquid assets now.
Even if the cabin's in great shape and owned free and clear, the kids might prefer for you to sell the cabin and split any proceeds.
Things they've asked about
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Have your kids ever said, "Can I have this one day?" Take note. And ask them about it again, in case you've forgotten (you have).
Ask them to identify what they want, and maybe you'd prefer they take it home now. It might be an old hoodie, crochet hook, mixtape, or even dad's old polka vinyls. They might be claiming "junk," but honor their request.
The family piano
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The family piano is a double-edged sword. If it's been well-kept, played, and loved, it could be a treasure. But if it hasn't been touched in year and no one plays it, then it's a half-ton burden.
Proceed with caution.
Ask your kids if they want it. If they don't, they'll be grateful you handled the piano removal now instead of shifting the burden to them. And if they do, let them take over the tunings and upkeep.
Bottom line
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Getting your estate in order isn't just about planning for wills, downsizing, and eventual long-term care.
Most parents want to help their children get ahead financially, but it's also important to help your children maintain an emotional connection to you and their childhood. Ask your kids now what matters most to them instead of tossing assumptions into a dumpster bin.
One person's junk is another person's origin story, and sometimes the most meaningful inheritance isn't the one that earns interest: It's the one that holds it.
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